Daca tipi timp de 8 ani, 7 luni si 6 zile, o sa produci suficienta energie pentru a fierbe o ceasca de cafea. (E greu de crezut ca merita sa faci asta)

La porci orgasmul dureaza 30 de minute. (In viata viitoare as vrea sa fiu porc.)

Cand te dai cu capul de pereti utilizezi cam 150 de calorii pe ora. (Inca nu pot sa-mi iau gandul de la chestia cu porcul.)

Oamenii si delfinii sunt singurele specii care fac sex de placere. (Oare de asta zambeste Flipper mereu?… Si porcii au 30 de minute de orgasm. Nu pare corect…)

Persoanele dreptace traiesc, in medie, cu noua ani mai mult decat cei stangaci. (Daca esti ambidextru se imparte diferenta?)

Furnica poate ridica de 50 de ori propria greutate, poate trage de 30 de ori propria greutate si intotdeauna cade pe partea dreapta cand se imbata. (Au platit oare contribuabilii pentru aceasta cercetare?)

Dracii-de-mare au peste 27,000 papile gustative. (Oare ce poate fi atat de gustos pe fundul apei?)

Puricele poate sari peste de 350 de ori lungimea trupului sau. Este ca si cum un om ar sari peste un teren de fotbal. (30 de minute… poti sa-ti imaginezi? Si de ce tocmai porcii?)

Un gandac de bucatarie traieste noua zile fara cap, dupa care moare de foame. (Groaznic… Incepi sa te minunezi de cat de sadici si bolnavi trebuie sa fi fost cei care au urmarit asta.)

Masculul de calugarita nu se poate imperechea cat timp are capul atasat de corp. Femela initiza sexul prin taierea capului masculului. (Iubito, sunt acasa. Ce zici de…) (Ei bine, cel putin porcii sar peste acest aspect…)

Unii lei se imperecheaza de peste 50 de ori pe zi. (In viata mea viitoare inca imi doresc sa fiu porc… calitatea inaintea cantitatii)

Fluturii gusta cu ajutorul picioarelor. (O, doamne…)(La astia este mai rau decat la dracii-de-mare)

Ochiul strutului este mai mare decat creierul sau. (Cunosc astfel de persoane.)

Steaua de mare nu are creier. (Cunosc si astfel de persoane.)

Dupa ce am citit aceste randuri, pot spune … (Porci Norocosi!)

Pe perioada crizei economice guvernul roman va asigura slujbe pentru someri.

Ele vor fi oficiate de preoti, episcopi si mitropoliti.

O bere va rog - in ordine alfabetica

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1) Afrikaans A beer, ah-suh-bleef!

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2) American Brewski here, please!

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3) Arabic Waheed beera, meen fadleek!

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4) Basque Garagardo bat, mesedez!

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5) Belarusian Ad-no pee-vah ka-lee lah-ska!

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6) Bengali Eka handoiya, doya koray!

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7) Bulgarian Edna beerra, molya!

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8)  Catalan Una cervesa, si us plau!

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9) Cheyenne Nok hee-sevo-tamah-peh, mas-eh-met-ah-no!

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10) Chinese Ching gay woh ee bay pee joh!

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11) Czech Pee-vo, pro-seem!

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12) Danish Yay vil geh-neh heh en url!

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13 ) Dutch Un beer, ahls-yer-bleeft!

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14) Egyptian (Ancient) Wekha henqet!

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15) Esperanto Unu bieron, mi petas!

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16) Estonian Ooks ur-loo, pah-lun!

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17) Finnish O-loot moolek kee-tos!

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18) French Une bière, s’il vous plait!

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19) German Ein Bier, bitte!

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20) Greek Mee-a beer-a paraka-loh!

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21) Hawaiian ‘Ekahi pia, ho’olu!

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22) Hindi Eka biyara, krupaya!

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23) Hungarian Edj pohar shurt kayrek!

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24) Icelandic Ay-dn byohr, tahk!

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25) Interlingua On bira, per favor!

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26) Irish Byohr awoyn, lyeh doh hull!  or  OI! PINT MATE!

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27) Italian Una birra, per favore!

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28) Japanese Bee-ru ip-pon, ku-da-sai!

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29) Korean Mayk-joo hahn-jahn, joo-se-yoh!

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30) Kurdish Dan min yek bire!

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31) Lakota (Sioux)Wan-jee m’nee-pee-gah, ee-yo-kee-pee!

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32) Latin Cervisiam, sodes!

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33) Lithuanian Pra-shau vie-na, al-lows!

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34) Norwegian Ehn url, tahk!

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35) Old English An beor, nu!

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36) Pig Latin One-ay eer-bay, ease-play!

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37) Polish Yed-no peev, proshe!

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38) PortugueseUma cerveja, por favor!

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39) Romanian Oh beh-reh ver rohg!

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40) Scots Gaelic Lyawn, mahs eh doh hawl eh!

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41) Serbo/ Croatian Yed-no pee-vo, mo-lim!

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42) Slovene Eno pee-vo, pro-seem!

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43) Spanish Una cerveza, por favor!

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44) Swahili Moja pombe, tafadhali!

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45) Swedish Ehn irl, tahk!

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46) Twi Mah-me bee-ye bah-ko, mee pow-che-oo!

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47) Turkish Beer beer-ah, luht-fen!

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48) Welsh Koo-roh ohs gwel-ookh-un-thah!

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49) Yiddish A beer, zeit a-zoy goot!

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50) Canadian One Canadian please.

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beer.com

Nu va zic nimic ca stric surpriza…

La sedinta de partid, pentru ridicarea nivelului intelectual, Mircea Geoana explica:

- Sa presupunem ca Dl. Ion Iliescu moare. il ingropam, pe mormant creste o floare, vine o vaca si o mananca, mai incolo trage o balega, eu trec pe acolo si dupa ce, intamplator, calc in ea, zic: “Ioane, Ioane, ce ai fost si ce ai ajuns!”
Nastase, tu poti sa-mi dai un exemplu?

- Da sefu’. Sa presupunem ca dumneavoastra muriti, va inmormantam, creste o floare pe mormant, vine o vaca si o mananca, mai incolo trage o balega, eu intamplator calc in ea si zic : “vai domnu’ Geoana, nu v-ati schimbat de loc!”